This Sounds Like Doug Mellard to Me

So, have you ever gone out for drinks with the girl of your dreams, only to have her tell you that she doesn't want to see you anymore? And then she starts crying, because you told her that you're the only one with the antidote to the poison she just drank?

I Need A Writing Partner

Todd Justice mentioned something in the Comedy Gym today. He was wondering why it is that nobody seems to write in groups anymore. That's what he did when he was starting out.

So, during the open mike after the class, I started bouncing some ideas off of Todd Merriman and Tim Speer. I thought it was very productive. Eventually, we got one completed bit, inspired by this morning's paper. Todd used it on stage and said it worked.

In the paper, there was a picture of a Chinese man breaking bricks with his head. The caption said it came from a convention of security guards, showing off their job skills. When I saw it, I thought it was fertile comic material, so I showed it to Todd and Tim and challenged them to come up with punchlines.

I was thinking along two lines. First, what kind of strange conditions to Chinese security guards see that would necessitate these skills. Second, what would an American security guard convention showcase? (Quickest speed dialing of real cops?)

But Todd had by far the best punchline. The reason Chinese security guards need to break bricks with their heads, is that the sheer boredom of the job causes them to constantly slam their heads into walls. When Todd did the bit, he actually smacked the wall with his forehead, screaming, "Why, why?!!"

Great comedy.

My point is that I need to bounce ideas off people while writing. In addition to generating ideas, I think talking things over will help clarify ideas.

In Comedy Gym, I did some brand new material that I wasn't confident in. But I felt good going through it, getting the feedback, and getting ideas from people. Also, just treading up there generated an idea that I might want to follow through with: I ended up talking in a smooth voice, one that might hypnotize, and thinking about the different things I could be saying. One was that I just won the lottery. Another was "These aren't the droids you're looking for."

Ah, creativity.

A Rebirth?

I had the day off from work today, and found myself at Guitar Center. I've been wondering about thickening up my sound by getting some drum and bass loops going via a foot switch. I ended up buying a new DigiTech GNX4 guitar workstation for $500.

This all got started in my head about a month ago when I was watching Allan Mayes and Ladonna play a gig at the Anderson Mill Tavern. They're a married couple that puts on karaoke shows at bars around town. Allan also plays guitar, and Ladonna, I found out that night, plays sax. They had a MIDI drum machine, that was also playing a bass part.

I haven't thought about doing something like that since Matt and my first radio appearance on the Big Ass Morning Freakshow. My thinking at that time was that an audience would never allow computer sounds during a music show. But now, I'm thinking that I'm more a comedian than a musician, so it might work. It worked for Allan and Ladonna, and they're many times over more musician than me. But I have noticed, all this time playing with Matt, that an audience's reaction to our jokes is very closely related to musical quality. Adding a simple, MIDI bass section might help out.

It'll be interesting to see how it comes out. I would definitely like to start guitar comedy again. Maybe this will help me get back on track.

I'll need to find a good venue. Open mikes won't cut it. You can't get through a full song at the Velv. I think I know a couple. I'll also try some music venues.

But first I have to learn to use a GNX4.